FOF #365 - Quarter Turns for Everyone! - 08.11.06

By Fausto Fernós on August 11, 2006 | Share & Save | Link | Print |

 
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Just WHAT does the exultant phrase “Quarter Turns” mean? Boy do we get that question a lot.

Earlier this year in January, American Idol finalist Clay Aiken’s squeaky clean image had a bit of a tarnish when the National Enquirer printed the “sordid” details of his one night stand with North Carolinian real estate agent John Paulus.

A lot of people in the past have declared flamboyant male singers to be gay, even having affairs with them, and in turn have had themselves taken to court. So why didn’t Clay Aiken or his record label sue him? Because John Paulus had inadvertently saved the cum rag.

Yes folks, this former green beret had accidentally pulled a “Lewinsky” and had DNA evidence of his love affair with Mr. Aiken.

According to John Paulus, during their one night stand Clay demanded that John do “Quarter Turns,” spin around while sitting on his member so he could feel “every one of his walls.”

I don’t think that I could possibly do that, or anyone else, but you have to give these guys credit for their enthusiasm! Clay never returned John’s calls and was not exactly the nicest person you’d want to have an affair in a hotel room with.

Hell hath no fury like a scorned lover, and after weeks of not getting any response from Aiken, in his anger John picked up the phone and called the tabloids to spill the beans on their affair.

On our show months ago we reenacted the transcript of what may have happened that night in the hotel room. It was so popular and charming that Mr. John Paulus himself sent us an email wanting to be on the show to tell his whole side of the story.

Listen to today’s show as we talk to Mr. “Quarter Turns” himself John Paulus about how his life has been since he came public with the news, how the “Claymates” (Clay AIkens’ fanatic female fans) have sent him naked pictures of thier naked old bodies in order to harass him, how they got him fired from his last job, and what would John say to Clay if he were sitting in front of him today.

UPDATE: If you want to read the anger and fury that John Paulus story has stirred in Clay Aiken’s fans, be sure to visit his blog ClayAkien411. If this is the level of violent language that is being directed at someone who had sex with a closeted gay pop star and has DNA evidence to back up his words, imagine what it would be like for Clay Aiken if he actually chose to come out. Maybe Clay is scared. I would be.

Every time you say “Quarter Turns” an angel downloads the Feast of Fools podcast into their iPod.

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Quarter Turns! Quarter Turns! lolololololol

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About The Author: Fausto Fernós

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
View all entries by Fausto Fernós

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