FOF #515 - Miss Ronnie’s Defibrillator - 04.18.07

By Fausto Fernós on April 18, 2007 | Share & Save | Link | Print |

 
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Miss Ronnie's DE-FIB-U-LATERMiss Ronnie is coming out with her own brand of medical products! Yaay! Whoopee!

For many of her fans the mere thought of getting their hands on any Feast of Fools merchandise might be too much for their hearts to take, but never fear, because the product she’s lending her celebrity status is for her own line of defibrillator: “Miss Ronnie’s Official DE-FIB-U-LATER”

“What’s a defibrillator” you ask?

A defibrillator is a medical device that designed to “shock” (or defibrillate) people’s hearts when their natural pace has been set off sequence and the top and bottom parts of the heart are out of sync (Ventricular fibrillation). Believe it or not, it’s just like a reset button on your computer.

Ronnie runs through several of these devices every time she has a romantic encounter, she’s just THAT intense. So naturally, why not lend her name to the products? They start at $1,195.00 and can be purchased here. Do not use as a floatation device.

You know, we’re just kidding about all this, but in many ways downloading this podcast is like installing a defibrillator on your iPod. When you just need a “jump” play the FOF and off you go!

Join us today as Marc Felion, Miss Ronnie and me, Fausto Fernós talk about Japanese electronic toilets going haywire, Bill Wyman (the former bass player for the Rolling Stones) new line of portable metal detectors, and scary drug-resistant contagious diseases that are making a comeback. Better get those masks back on!

Please take a moment to start checking out some of our fabulous listener profiles. One favorite accidental feature is that everyone who signs up gets a special “borg designation” number, like “Species 8472″ or “Species 5618.”

Check out some great audience profiles:
User 29User 125User 169 • User 220
and of course Miss Ronnie’s user profile User 96

No need to consult a physician before listening to the Feast of Fools podcast.

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FYI, Japan still has those “Napoleon” toilets as well. There’s always at least one in public restrooms, especially in the more rural areas. As far as the electronic toilets, they are simply toilet seats with the electronics attached, and connects to a water source to spray your behind after you’ve done your deed. So it’s more like a toilet accessory than a actual fancy toilet.

Miss Ronnie, I got nothing but love for ya. :-)

Miss Ronnie, she’s Gangsta’ I totally and absolutely love her!

Amazing show as always, I love how Miss Ronnie is now working the Asian Persuassion to win back those ching chongs (just kidding).

This spicy latino mexican half spanish crazy caucasian 6 footer would ride on that BMW anyday!

Babies, it’s gonna be all right with the Feast Of Fools!

I figured out what you were saying about the profile numbers and how you can change it and see other users, I came so close to being 69, I am number 71….I was so close and I didn’t even know it.

Hey Ronnie whats happening? Always a great show you guys!

-Mike from Bolingbrook

I think it’s great that celebrities are adopting kids from less fortunate countries too, but there are a lot of kids here in the US that are just as much in need of a loving home. Our country has one of the highest disparities between the rich and poor, and making the rich pay more attention to the poor would be a better idea than sending their money overseas.

Aw it was so great to hear that you guys think I’m hot stuff, especially during this time when I’m in the middle of a break up and not feeling quite so loved. You guys are the best.

However, to refer to me as a chicken when I’m am too big, in every aspect, to be anything but a Rooster is blasphemy ;-)

Bagock to your mother!

I freaking LOVED the “your phone is ringing”, “your phone is ringing” bit from Miss Ronnie!

Jerome from Ferndale, MI

OH MY GOD Super Ronnie does it again! She wowed you with the great equalizer, she stunned you during the State of The Vajayjay, and Now she introduces the Defib-u-later. Oh lord how does she do it. It’s like Sassafraction, everytime you think got enough and can’t take anymore she comes back and give one more hit of the shit and let me tell you I’m addicted. Keep doing what you do girl, keep on trickin, luvin it!

And I also wanted to express condolences for the victims of VT massacre. One of my closest friends was one of the inured, and I was talking to her during the two hours between both events, she had no idea and walked right into it. Miss Ronnie please keep the rest of your 6 footers in check this world is crazy enough.

Jokes aside, tears in my eye
Much Luv
Jerome

Back when I was in Japan, their toilets were just plain ordinary. Although, I did have the “pleasure” of using one of the squatting toilets. It was like a urinal but in the floor. The nice thing about it though was that it really worked your quads. ;)

Thanks for the warm thoughts/wishes on our fertility problems, I was really touched. We are considering adoption if I can’t get knocked up in the next few years. I was looking at some adoption websites here, and there were so many kids they were looking to place with racially mixed families that I think we’d be really welcome as adopters. Fausto, the reason I didn’t answer your question about names is because I thought you were asking Shannon!

Miss Ronnie, I’ll be bringing the husband to Chicago in July, so get the frying pan ready–I’ll hold him down. How about I buy you a few drinks as payment?

Was very glad to hear you talking about tuberculosis, because it means someone’s actually talking about it! I work on tuberculosis surveillance in London where it’s pretty bad, way worse than NYC ever was. Just wanted to make a small correction on something Marc said–most people do thing of TB as a lung disease, but actually only about 1/2 of tuberculosis cases are pulmonary. You can get TB anywhere in your body–the weirdest one I’ve heard about so far is a guy who had it in his testicles, apparently he had to wear ginormous trousers all the time because they’d swelled up so big. TB is on the rise globally, mainly because everyone thinks it’s a disease of the past. It’s a leading AIDS-defining illness (if you’re HIV positive and get TB, you are classified as having progressed to AIDS). Fortunately, if you’re a fairly healthy person, TB is pretty hard to catch.

Awesome Show!!
got to get me one of them perambulators
FOF- you make my life much easier.

fantastic to hear miss ronnie back on the show! you guys made my morning, as usual. love, from the sf bay area.

Miss ronnie’s all about ‘”da hood, yo!” jesus i looove her
better keep that va-j-j ready for some action miss ronnie!

hey fausto, never in my life (even me being latino) have i heard that happy birthday mexican version song you did over there, i was like wtf? i thought you were gonna sing (8) essstas soooon las mananiiitassss blah blah blaaaah blah blah blaaaaah(8) shit haha

ok then, guys i love your show. i heard it when i was at the bank today waiting on a looooong ass line and it helped me out like you have no clue

You know the “Phone is ringing is available through MINI BITES for free. Now mac, who wouldn’t want a little taste of your “cock soup for the soul?”

Hey there Fausto and Marc,

YOU GUYS MAKE US LAUGH SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! Thanks for another fabulous show.

I think you should all go to Japan. You’d love it. We went there for a holiday last year and were completely enthralled by the diversity. Like Lucas’s comment, it is true that Japan does have those Napoleon toilets. They’re called “Japanese style” toilets. In many of the public toilets, even all over Tokyo, there are Japanese style toilets and then one or two Western style toilets. Then there is the “Shower Toilet” which is what you’re referring to….the electronic gadget toilet that does everything just short of cooking you dinner!!!! The funny thing is that the first time Shaun went into one of those “Shower Toilet” cubicles…he was wondering where the shower head was. This of course is before he realised that it’s a shower for your ass!!!! Ha ha ha.

Keep up the good work guys. You’re all simply delightful!!!!

Love
Mel

Is that an invitation? We’d love to go to Japan if somebody sponsors it.

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About The Author: Fausto Fernós

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
View all entries by Fausto Fernós

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