Cool episode fellas. This is a really great topic that I don’t think enough people have analyzed, especially with respect for the gay community. Our world, as Fausto mentioned, has really been revolutionized (is that a word?) by sites like gay.com, manhunt, bear 411, and MySpace.

And I love that someone has put out a book with essentially “best practices” for on-line… activities. Maybe this will finally help those people that have been on-line for years and still haven’t met anyone! That just blows my mind. I’ve met the last few guys I’ve dated through various online sites, and while there is still a certain stigma attached to it, we need to just get over that. It’s not as convenient for us GIBLETS to meet people in “the real world” as it is for our hetero counter-parts, so these on-line resources can really help and bring us together. We are the DiFFr community after all…

Oh I forgot to say that hearing the loungey FOF sponsored by Steamworks had me all schocked and in vapours (Geddit? Steam-vapours, good stuff, no?). Also, it’s no wonder that people are assuming that sweet ‘n sexy Jim Verraros is a ‘bottom’ when he is singing songs about feeling someone deep inside of him. Or is that - like - a metaphor? Either way - I’ve totally been there, though unfortunately not with Mr. Verraros.

I thank my gay stars that I found a man and didn’t keep having to go to those sites. Not because it was “bad” but because of all the rigmarole involved. “No, I don’t want to have sex with you, did you read my profile, no I don’t care how big your dick is, no I don’t want to meet you in a parking lot, no I don’t want to go to a bar so you can buy me a drink or 10″

Also, I am a wee bit creeped-out by the advertisement of Steamworks, but hey… money is money, and congrats on getting another sponsor boys!

I don’t quite understand the angst about a modern bathhouse. Is it because the nature of the establishment is blatantly about sex? Well, Christ, so is every bar - they just don’t have nice sinks and clean showers for everyone. As long as safety remains in the gay mind, I tend to think the new bathhouses (based on some eye-opening Googling I’ve done) are yet one more gay perc the straight world must surely envy us having.
Hell, I’m gay and I envy us.

I was being tongue in cheek about being shocked by the Steamworks sponsor - but it is a bit of a departure from soy candles by Pheebes and haircuts. I think the angst about bathouses is somewhat justified in that std’s can really make rounds there. And you can prevent hiv by playing safe but a lot of the other ‘lighter’ ones you can’t easily dodge if playing with a stranger who carries it. Like being online, the relative anonimity of a bathhouse seems to draw people who take less responsibility for their actions. And because you may have multiple ‘transactions’ with several people who are also doing multiples it can be like an orgy where you have no clue who just did what to whom and where what part of his anatomy went. Hard to keep track of the hygiene of it. That’s an observation based on a Dutch sauna anyway, never experienced any USA ones, so they might be better.

Great show and interesting comments about M4M, I loathe Amazon, so I will have to see about getting the book elsewhere. As for Steamworks, good for you guys. Too many prudes in the US. I haven’t been in 2-3 years mostly because I am not going to be one of those old trolls that I used to make fun of in my younger days. I wish Americans would get over their sexuality like the Europeans.

M4M interview was great and I need to do some editing on my profile here.

Cheers and Hell David, if Nick is yours, can I rent him for a few hours? I don’t mind sloppy seconds.

StevenvanL. brings up some interesting points. In the context of prevention, situation does not simply connote setting or place but also incorporates meanings people attached to the physical setting and how the complex interrelation of setting, meaning, and behaviors influences decisions regarding sexual behaviors and prevention measures. I would argue that situations influence decisions regarding sexual behaviors and risk taking and these situations could certainly be worse outside of a bathhouse setting. Bathhouse patrons and policies perceive bathhouses as situations that privilege expedient sexual release rather than individuals and over how those releases occur. While this predominant perspective impedes, it does not preclude, risk reduction. One could argue that the risks of men meeting in other venues are increased. I cant help but think of Timothy Leary’s theory about set and setting. The set is the mental state a person brings to the experience, like thoughts, mood or expectations. The setting refers to the physical or social environment. Social support networks have shown to be particularly important in the outcome of the experience.

ps were you talking about the Thermos Night or the Thermos Day Sauna