FOF #557 - Fruit Flavored Fun - 06.20.07

By Fausto Fernós on June 19, 2007 | Share & Save | Link | Print |

 
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Amanda SteinsteinPink is the new pink! What was the old pink? Blue. Red is dead, blue is through, Green’s obscene, brown’s taboo.
And there is not the slightest excuse for plum or puce —or chartreuse.

Despite what Hollywood musicals or your du’jour fashionista may tell you, all colors are beautiful. That’s why the gay pride flag is a rainbow, and why Jessie Jackson, Native Americans and candy manufacturers all know- a rainbow of colors is where it’s really at.

Even German sausage manufacturers are all getting into the Pride theme by releasing fruit flavored sausages in exotic flavors, kiwi, lemon and cherry. Your German sausage factory now looks like an evening at Steamworks!

The unsinkable Rosie O’Donell is being groomed for taking over Bob Barker’s job as host of the popular and campy daytime TV iconic game show The Price is Right. We’d love to see a big bold lesbian five days a week giving away fabulous prizes, but will TPIR keep all the former playboy model “showgirls” when Rosie takes over? If so, it may become the most lesbian of all shows on TV, eclisping the L Word and Ellen.

This week marks the 40th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme striking down down micegenation laws, legalizing interracial marriage. That was only forty years ago, which wasn’t that long ago. So now it’s time to look at our present day and figure out how to really and truly legalize same-sex marriage everywhere in this coutry.

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Amanda’s guess is exactly right. Aloe Vera is great for heart burn and acid redux, that and apple vinegar mixed with baking soda. Great show as usual, thanks guys

Rosie O’Donnell as host of “The Price Is Right” is a bad move. CBS has spent too many years building a successful brand with the show, and I really don’t think Rosie is a good fit for the brand. CBS will find out that Rosie will not be able to hold the same audience that Bob Barker held for all of these years, and after the ratings take a steep nosedive, they will opt out of her contract and find somebody else who will hopefully be able to resurrect the phoenix out of the ashes. Or, Rosie will do it for her contract period and then flake out and leave CBS in a lurch. Either way, it’s bad news for TPIR and CBS.

I think Rosie would be a bad fit for “The Price Is Right.” She would never have the respect for the brand that CBS has built up, because she would make it “all about Rosie.” Not to mention, the demographic of people who watch the show would likely reject her as a host, and CBS would watch the ratings plummet. Hopefully, clearer heads will prevail in this matter.

Rosie would be a bad fit for “The Price Is Right.” Not only would she not have a scrap of respect for the brand, she would try to make it “all about Rosie.” I think that CBS would see a serious nosedive in the ratings if they make this kind of move.

Of course, if she became host, maybe it would mean that the models would become hot male models. Hmm…maybe not such a bad idea after all.

Wow, you guys were really out of sorts today! It was making me laugh a lot while driving - not safe. There are lots of drinks in Japan with Aloe in them. They’re kind of good, mostly they taste somewhat like grapes. I loved the reference to Mars Attacks! What an insane movie.

Haha, Durian.. It’s famous among the Asians. haha.. the only bad after effects is a putrid foul breath. 1 good tooth brushing and cold water can’t wash it off.

I’m digging the freeform comedy stylings of Marc Felion. He’s best when he lets it loose and just steamrolls ahead with his edgy humor. Keep up the good work Marc, it’s working!

I think that Rosie as host of “The Price Is Right” is a bad match that CBS will learn to regret. She will likely be rejected by the demographic who usually watch the show, which means the ratings will take a nosedive. Hopefully, CBS will have an opt-out clause that will allow them to send her packing and they can recruit somebody who will actually have some respect for the brand the show has built over time.

If nothing else, given the flakiness she has displayed since she came out, she is likely to tell CBS to stick it when her contract is up or opt out earlier than expected (her cancellation of her own show, her shutting down of her magazine and her early exit from “The View” are three very fine examples of her erratic and unprofessional behavior). Either way, I say that there are better choices for a host to succeed Bob Barker.

CBS already made one mistake putting Katie Couric in the anchor chair for the Evening News. They really can’t afford another one by hiring Rosie.

Amanda, darlin, I love ya, but your singing at the beginning of the show had every dog in my neighborhood howling. Including myself, which got some strange looks from the neighbors. I think you broke the sound barrier. Ha! I’m just playing. Excellent show. You guys always brighten my day.

Good show. I really want to hear an all Spanish podcast, just to see if you guys could really pull it off and not leave all us Caucasians (even with advanced backgrounds in Latin) all confused and discombobulated.

I sense a new sound byte for Mini Bites… BAP BAP BAP BAP BAP!!!!!!!!

Ok - I loooooooved Amanda’s singing at the beginning of the show - each phrase of her vocal styling made me laugh even harder. Good way to start the day.

And yes, have an all Spanish podcast by all means - then publish it w/ subtitles. (I volunteer to do the transcription/ subtitling if you need someone).

Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale,
oh Jonah, he lived in de whale,
For he made his home in that fish’s ab-do-men,
oh Jonah he lived in de whaaaaaaaaaale…

Gershwin! (not Cole Porter)

But this is the best verse! –>

Methus’lah lived nine hundred years
Methus’lah lived nine hundred years
But who calls that livin’ when no gal’ll give in
To no man what’s nine hundred years

Amanda, the guys are right: a meteor could hit us without us knowing it’s heading our way. Read: A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Shows how disturbingly little we actually know when it comes to all kinds of science.

Mark, I beleive the collective noun for Lesbians is Lick. A Lick of Lesbians, a Gag of Gay men and a Fence of Bisexuals…

And its a murder of dykes.

Amanda should start her singing career as a duo…Amanda and Sanjaya! William Hung watch out!

If I got the wrong show, my apologies. I listen to several shows of FOF in a day. My comment was about circumcision. I am very opposed to it, no one has the right to mutilate another persons body without their informed consent. A child is a responsibility, not ownership. Some history about it from a group called no-circ. When circumcision first came about, only the tip of the foreskin was removed, just enough to expose the glands. The statue of David, David is jewish, but to modern eyes, he is cut. Well in 900ish CE, in Crete the jewish blokes were passing themselves off to the local ladies as gentiles. The rabbis were very cross. They degreed that even if a boy is circumcised 7 times by 7 times all foreskin will be removed. Thanks guys.

Also I have read that approximately 5000 nerve endings are severed by circumcision and 150 boys a year lose their penis because of botched circumcisions.

I will step down from my soap box now.

and a Bundle of Fags…

Where was this Feast of Fool advice about going to college three years ago–you know before I made all the mistakes they told me to avoid!

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About The Author: Fausto Fernós

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
View all entries by Fausto Fernós

Steamworks-Spring2008

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