FOF #567 - Snickers Nixon - 07.12.07
By Fausto Fernós on July 12, 2007 | Share & Save | Link | Print |
Have you ever played this game with your friends? Think of the name of your first pet you had when you were a kid and the street you lived on, combine those two and you get your Porn Star Name. Mine would be “Jimmy Barbe”
Still this formula leaves a lot to be desired. How about we come up with a new one! Here is a helpful list of combinations you can make to come up with your porn star, stage name, faerie name or drag name in a cinch.
• Favorite Snack + Conservative Politician = Snickers Nixon
• Innocent Girls’ Name + Movie Stars’ last name = Victoria Lamarr
• 50’s TV Sitcom Character + Greek/Roman God = Tony Zeus
• Civil Rights Activist + Jungle Cat = Cindy Cheetah
• Car Model + Type of Wood = Mercedes Mahogany
• Suburb in your city + Artificial Food Ingredient = Waukeegan Olestra
Okay, so they are not all winners. Still, this way you can be pretty clever when you’re creating an online profile and don’t want people to know what your real name is. Wouldn’t it be fun to be chatting with Skittles Liddy on the forums?
Keep in mind alliteration (Fausto Fernós, Vernonica Vera or Jessie Jackson) are great names because you get the bonus of having some cool initials like F.F.
Rhymes, or name combinations or puns are great too.
Share with us your favorite formulas for names and your results on the comments below.
Join Amanda Steinstein, Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we give honest advice to our hetero female fans who are dying to ignite their love life but find themselves spending a LOT of time with gay men.
When do you let go of a bad situation? How do you train a dog to learn that “NO” really means NO!
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Cliff Dix says:
July 12, 2007 at 08:34Oh by the way, the guy I had a major crush on in high school was Ross Russell. I think even his name is sexy.
Gary T says:
July 12, 2007 at 09:02I’d be “Peppie Elm”. Probably wouldn’t sell many porno’s with that name.
Grace says:
July 12, 2007 at 09:42This is pretty random but last night I went to a music festival where i live and Weird Al Yankovic was playing! It was better than I expected and I just wanted to post that here because for the whole concert…I couldn’t stop thinking about Amanda! lol
Fausto Fernós says:
July 12, 2007 at 10:21Wait a second, PEANUT LINCOLN is not your favorite snack + conservative politician? Although I fail to see the reason why modern-day Republicans would want to associate themselves with that iconic President.
PupDon says:
July 12, 2007 at 11:07Fausto, the reason porn stars use fake names is because it can become dangerous to go by your real name. Some fans of any genre blur the lines between fantasy and reality. There was the lady who went to jury duty in her Star Trek uniform, the lady who swore her name was Billy Jean and that Michael Jackson had fathered her baby, and more. When it comes to porn, people sometimes think that because you fuck on camera for movies or websites that you must want to fuck everyone you see. It’s one thing for someone to grab your butt in a bar but it’s quite another when a fan stalks and even harms a porn star. Not to mention the fact that some crazed right wing wacko could get your personal info and start harassing you, your family and friends, go to where you work (yes, some porn stars hold day jobs), so it’s all about protection. Porn stars are people too. And actually, a lot of them are genuinely nice people. When we take our Randy Blue boys out on the town for personal appearances they are such nice guys. It’s not like work for me, it’s like going out for a night on the town with a bunch of friends. So if I seem a little defensive, it’s just because I’d hate to see anything happen that would put these guys in any kind of danger.
Oh, and my porn star name would be Gonk Davidson.
Maia says:
July 12, 2007 at 11:07Marcel Proust had a lot of health problems, but I’m glad he wasn’t aborted. A lot of people have expensive health problems, but we don’t wish they were dead instead of being a financial burden on our health care system. It’s a lot easier to think about killing someone when he or she is at the very beginning of his or her life… but why would you kill someone because they are sick? (Don’t flame me! I’m pro-abortion. Just also pro-rights for sick people.) If this kid’s parents pay their health insurance premiums, they deserve to collect on their policy — that’s what health insurance is for: you pay into the system, knowing that you will be able to get health care, even expensive health care, when you need it.
Who is draining the system more? Newborns requiring admittedly rare procedures? People suffering from cancer, disabilities, and chronic illnesses? OR… millionaire CEOs, lobbyists, and the politicians they pay off? Who is getting “more than they deserve” out of this pie?
I agree with Amanda that it’s annoying to read stupid news articles lionizing people who were dealt a shitty hand and are being held up as heroes because they are living with the consequences of their own decisions. And it’s annoying to hear anti-abortionists poo-poo the option of abortion. But the pro-choice movement is ABOUT giving women the right to choose, and then not denigrating the woman for making her choice. And this woman chose to carry her baby to term, and now is raising a child with severe health problems. I’m not sure what’s making you mad… I guess the fact that the state is helping pay for the baby’s care, and she could have saved us taxpayers this expense by choosing to abort her baby. But, like Marc said, how much is a life worth? I don’t think we can make that decision for other people… (especially when it starts to sound like eugenics… this podcast really gave me the heebie-jeebies)
There’s a philosopher at Princeton named Peter Singer that Amanda might like to check out. He argues that people with disabilities should be killed, preferably before they are born, because they are a drain on society. Imagine the expense of paying for all the medical procedures and care-giving they require — plus, they take all the good parking spaces! Whenever he makes a public appearance, the activist group Not Dead Yet usually makes an appearance, in their wheelchairs and all… and they make the claim that they are just as entitled to their lives as he is to his.
So, Amanda, you definitely have an ethical foundation for your argument. I just opt to politely disagree…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Singer#Abortion.2C_euthanasia_and_infanticide
Rich says:
July 12, 2007 at 14:10Pollo Campero is awesome. I ate it all the time when I spent the summer in Guatemala.
RcktMan says:
July 12, 2007 at 15:11Cliff, my porn name would be Peanut, too! But my last name would be 87th Place. Not terribly sexy, is it?
I guess I could try some other streets — Cubby Ellen. (second pet and first apartment street). Damn.
How about Pippin Beach? (First pet I owned, and second street in Chicago). Hmmm… better.
Screech Berwyn? (Second pet I owned, third street.)
Pippin or Screech Winnemac?
Oh forget it.
Loved the show!
PupDon says:
July 12, 2007 at 16:48RcktMan, if I had to pick a later pet and an apartment street my porn name would be Grandpa Rockland. LOL! My roommate and I had a pet ferret he had named Grandpa and we lived on Rockland Ave. LOL!
Fausto, you just made one of my biggest pet peeves. Debbie Harry’s name is not Blondie. Blondie was a band made up of one female and several males. Collectively, they were known as Blondie but the lead singer was Debbie (sometimes Deborah) Harry. So many people made this mistake in the early days that they actually had T-shirts made that said “Blondie is a Band”.
DynaMike says:
July 12, 2007 at 17:34That incident where the dog sodomized the 2-year-old happened near where I live, in the next town over! To give a little more detail that you guys didn’t have at the time you recorded this show, the mother told the police she was in the process of changing her son’s diaper. She took the old one off & sent the kid into the other room to bring her a clean one [???], and that’s how the dog had the opportunity to do what he did. Also, the dog had never been neutered; if he had, this probably wouldn’t have happened. The dog is currently being held at the local SPCA where a behavior specialist is trying to determine why exactly the dog mounted the child; presumably, they’re trying to determine whether the dog was trained to do things like that or not.
To be honest, when I first heard about this, I wasn’t surprised it happened in Lockport. That whole city’s full of brain-dead rednecks.
PupDon says:
July 12, 2007 at 18:19Awww, I didn’t mean to get on your case Fausto. I get just as fanatic over Stevie Nicks, too. But for what it’s worth if someone said that Marc had blue hair and Fausto was a bartender I’d jump all over their shit too. ![]()
Rachel Ribcage says:
July 12, 2007 at 18:44great show guys!
im australia my generation tends to say “defs” alot, as a slang for deffinately :]
would they ban me from catholic school because my last name backwards is “sinned”? haha
xoxox
thegoon4you says:
July 12, 2007 at 19:39Ashley here.. you know the subject of about 10 mins of material today ;o) I feel the need to defend myself a tiny bit. When I was talking to Fausto about wanting a straight guy in my apt I was drunk annnd a wee bit horny. So anyway, just wanted to clear the air. I know it may have seemed that I’m this silly fag hag that has no idea why she cant get a boyfriend, but believe you me, I’m fully aware that I will not find a boyfriend with my current social habits.
And I am totally ok with that for right now. I am not looking for a quick one night stand, I am not sexually premiscious and am not into hunting down guys at the bar. That being said, I do have plans to go out with my straight female roommate this weekend *gasps*.
But seriously, I’m young and I’m sincerely having a fantastic time hanging out with my gays. And when I decide to be on the prowl I realize I will have to cut back on the gay bar scene.
Oh and I don’t have a crawl space full of ugly gays like Marc suggested. Fausto, you’re ridiculous for feeling intimidated around me, you and Marc are always welcome to hang out with me and my gang.
ILOVEMYHUSBAND says:
July 12, 2007 at 20:22Okay. I live in the suburbs of Dallas and all my friends and neighbors are straight. Not against gays, just not comfortable when they are flamboyant. However, I am happily married to my butch husband. We have a wonderful home life. This is my first comment on anything gay. But somehow I got addicted to this show. I listen to you when I do my cardio. You are doing great and I applaud your efforts. I wish you the very best and my husband and I will buy shirts soon. We want to support your show. Thank you for being our voice.
By the way, my husband wrote in to you. He wrote about advise on the “mile-high club”. You answered it and I’ve been hooked since.
p.s. my porn name is Bruno Chapel - too cool
ILOVEMYHUSBAND says:
July 12, 2007 at 21:40Now, I’m even responding to your requests. I have voted for you on the podcast awards (as instructed) and I will start making comments. You all keep saying that comments/feedback is essential to your show. So why don’t more people respond????? I still gotta buy that T shirt. I hope you have one that fits me. I’m a big boy (maybe I’ll just rip the sleeves off ![]()
Amanda Steinstein says:
July 12, 2007 at 22:04Proust was “sickly” and didn’t have his first asthma attack til he was 9. That’s a far cry from the doctors telling the parents that your son has a rare condition that will suffocate him moments after he is born. I’m hardly advocating eugenics in this case. Even if the technology had existed for the doctors to tell Proust’s parents that little Marcel would be a little weak but would grow up with some care, I doubt they would have aborted based on that info.
The Boyces decision was difficult. And yes, I realize that my position is somewhat contradictory to the position of “choice.” I said as much on the show. Obviously there is a sliding scale of how sick is sick enough to give up on a fetus…only no one would ever dare mark the point on that scale of where giving up is the “right” option, there are only “recommended options.” Fetus with from severe arthrogryposis syndrome and microcephalia? Inoperable, no chance of living outside the womb? No one would bring that child to term if they knew. Call that a 10 on the scale. Call asthma a 1 on the scale. I call CHAOS (what they’re kid has) about an eight on the scale.
For the record, I’m also in favor of mandatory (if temporary) sterilization for men and women in certain situations…such as if you have more than two kids and you’re already on state or federal assistance. Enough! Or if you’ve ever left your baby in a hot car to die…no more babies for you.
Once again, there would be a sliding scale…and no governing body in their right mind would try to enforce it. I’ve said this for years: It should be at least as hard to HAVE a baby as it is to ADOPT one.
In the case of the Boyces, my reasoning is 98% financial. There are women who know they can’t afford to keep a child and can’t even afford an abortion, but they go through every channel available to get an abortion. Sometimes she has coverage, but many states and insurance companies won’t pay, so there are private groups that raise and distribute money to those women. And then there are women who make the decision themselves and pay for it themselves.
And then there’s this mom, whose choice forces ME as an Illinois taxpayer (and probably a lot of you) to pay for her stubborn insistence that all life is precious. Yes, I would like the same tax money to go to women who want and can’t afford an abortion, and anti-abortion people would have the same argument as me (”Why do I have to pay for YOUR choice?”) On this we agree. However, the ratio of what we all contribute to an abortion vs. what we all contribute to keeping this poor damaged child alive…more than 1000 to one already, and the kid isn’t even a year old. In a state that can barely keep schools open or trains running, that HAS to count for something.
How does this compare to a person who can’t afford a costly operation to live? For one thing, an insurance company might decide the person isn’t worth it. Too old, too sick, not enough coverage. The person doesn’t have the money, the person dies. How come that doesn’t apply to this kid? Why doesn’t the state just say no? It’s called cutting your losses. For another thing, the fetus isn’t a person. It. Just. Isn’t. You can line up all the woulda-coulda-shouldas in the world, but in the end, if you haven’t breathed air, you are not a person.
The other 2%, by the way, is that these parents brought a kid in to the world KNOWING how much he would suffer. KNOWING he would not be able to EAT OR BREATHE, MAYBE NOT EVER. Sure, they can say he’s a happy kid, he smiles a lot, he can signal when he needs to be suctioned, but they can’t say the boy isn’t suffering. That has got to be some kind of child abuse.
Babies aren’t miracles. Intelligent people are.
Amanda Steinstein says:
July 12, 2007 at 22:08Oh and PS: Lots of people who are old and sickly DO “wish they were dead instead of being a financial burden on our health care system” not to mention family and friends. That’s why Dr. Kervorkian went to jail. In about 50 years, they’ll know he was right and euthanasia will be covered by Blue Cross.
Maia says:
July 13, 2007 at 00:25But there’s a difference between “they wish they themselves were dead” and “WE wish they were dead.”
The chronically ill people seeking assisted suicide made the decision, themselves, to end their own lives. Mrs. Boyce’s fetus couldn’t give a thumbs up or thumbs down. This creates a problem: the to-be child, who will have to bear the consequences of that life-or-death decision, does not get to make the decision. It’s an interesting question… who should get to decide what is best for the future of the fetus? The parents, the state, the taxpayers? You’re right, these are all interested parties, since they will all be paying in one way or another for that decision… I don’t really know the answer, but I think it’s an interesting question. (I would lean toward a woman’s right to choose, under the advice of her doctor, because I’m a dyed-in-the-wool pro-choicer.)
I don’t know any more about CHAOS than what was explained on the podcast, but it sounds like this kid is learning to communicate via signing? My idea of what is a worthwhile and valuable life has been considerably expanded over the past couple of years, as a close friend of mine is a teacher for severely impaired high school kids. I’m talking “special needs” to the nth degree. Her students have very limited communication; many of them don’t have the use of all their senses, and it’s very hard to get through to them. For one of her students, her goal for the end of the semester was to have him raise a spoonful of food to his mouth and eat it. My friend (who is very intelligent and not a sentimentalist — she’s Texan through and through) gets a real kick out of these kids, and has bonded with them. She tells me that they have bonded with her. She sees them experience anguish and joy. Hearing her stories really makes me reconsider my assumptions about what it means to have a good life, even what it means to be a human being.
Her stories make me question Peter Singer’s assumptions about where we draw the line between worthwhile and worthless (or not worthy enough) life. But he is a very rigorous academic, and he has valid arguments, as do you. I would just err on the opposite side of the line than he would.
I guess that only addresses the 2%. (I’ll admit, I’m not as interested in the financial problematics of the situation.) Thank you for bringing me back to my college days of spending too much time thinking and parrying, Amanda! It’s a welcome break from the 9-to-5.
Amanda Steinstein says:
July 13, 2007 at 06:59Maia, dearest, you are a pleasure to converse with.
I can honestly say I believe that the personal choice of a living person who has reached an age/experience where he/she can say definitively “I want to die” has more weight than the person choice of a small blob of cells with less self-awareness than a small garden slug, no matter how much that garden slug wants to live.
Blessings upon those special needs children. They got a raw deal and had no choice (there’s that word again) but to try to survive. Of course they have their happiness. But do you think that if they could, for one minute, experience life as a “normal” kid, that they would choose to go back to the bodies they were born with?
I’ve heard of people born without arms who don’t want them…they’ve learned to use their legs and feet so dexterously that they say they’d feel like an “octopus” with two extra limbs. They worked hard as hell to get to that place. So obviously not every major fetal deformation is not a death sentence. But there should be a line somewhere. A medical line, which, if parents choose to have a kid on the other side of that line, they are entirely responsible for their choice.
My mom has told me that if she’d known what kinds of issues I was getting born into (relatively minor), she may not have had me. Do I wish she’d aborted me? Most of the time, no. However, knowing that I may pass on what I got from mom, I’ve chosen not to have kids (at least that’s one of many factors). I suspect if the Boyce’s had known before they conceived that their next kid would have these issues, they may not have tried to get pregnant.
It’s a leap between not getting pregnant and not allowing the zygote to develop once you ARE pregnant, but I think that’s two sides of the same coin. However, since abortion has been so divested from birth control, most people don’t see it that way.
Peter Singer’s an extremist, but he’s on the right track. Same way most Christians are on the right track, but the extreme ones are dangerous.
Now I’m late for work. See what you made me do?
Maia says:
July 13, 2007 at 11:15Well, I’m glad you don’t think I’m an asshole! (I’m not trying to be, but it’s hard to express nuance and inflection in this medium.) I’m enjoying the dialogue, too… Sorry you were late to work, though.
There is a line, I agree. It just has been drawn in some SCARY places before when the state got involved in reproductive rights, so it’s a delicate subject. Have you read Seeing Voices by Oliver Sacks? This was the first Oliver Sacks book I ever read, and it’s still my favorite. It isn’t a collection of short stories about different case studies, like some of his other books. Instead, it’s an in-depth delving into a single subject: the history of the deaf community in America. It’s a wonderful book. Did you know that Alexander Graham Bell advocated for state-sponsored sterilization of deaf people? He considered deaf people “a defective variety of the human race.”
Sacks, being the neurobiologist, explains how learning and speaking in sign language activates different neural pathways in the brain, than speaking vocally does. It’s really fascinating — sign language operates in 3 dimensions, whereas our sentences progress from start to finish, in a 2-dimensional line.
Anyway, he sees deafness as just one example of differentiation within the human species, enriching the species as a whole. But no one draws the line to exclude deaf people anymore, so why bring it up? Well, I think that as we become more educated and empathetic as a society, we draw the line in a wider and wider circle… come on in, deaf people! Join us, people with Downs syndrome! (I think disabled rights will be the next civil rights movement…)
But I agree that a woman should consider whether she will be able to provide for her child (whether by herself, with the support of family, or by placing it for adoption) before she carries a pregnancy to term. So I think we’re on common ground there. If she has no way of providing for her child, then she faces the same situation that a lot of single moms with no resources face, and she needs to make a choice to have an abortion or find a home for the child. — I just wouldn’t want this policy to have the consequence of preventing the birth of anyone with a disability that falls in the mid-range of your 1-to-10 scale, Amanda… Like you said, there needs to be a line drawn… (I just get scared when lines get drawn, because as soon as 100 years later, old Alexander Graham, who was completely in line with mainstream society opinion at the time, is sounding like a Nazi nutball!)
Oh, and to change the subject a bit to forced sterilization for people who are on welfare — I think a better (though longer-term) solution would be to improve education for the lower & working class. I’ve read that level of education is inversely proportional to level of reproduction. This would be a systemic solution, improve a lot of people’s lives, AND it would keep the state out of our reproductive rights. (I know I’m pollyanna, but a girl’s gotta dream…)
Back to you, Amanda… or we could just call it a day and go get ice cream. ![]()
Amanda Steinstein says:
July 13, 2007 at 21:02I’m going for ice cream.
But first…we have arrived at common ground…that dang line. Neither of us is willing to draw it because we know it’s a slippery slope. Bell was willing to draw it. Singer is willing to draw it. So was Hitler. I don’t think any truly reasonable person is willing to draw it, but some day it will have to be drawn (with the understanding that it can be moved as medical science improves).
This is one of the things that makes me want to live for 300 years. I want to see how this comes out (which is why I like science fiction, aka speculative fiction, because those writers don’t want to wait).
100 years ago, a well-respected man like Bell could say publicly that deaf people gotta go. We also put people with severe deformities in tents for public viewing at circuses. In most cases, it was the only way they could earn a living.
100 years from now, which direction will we have taken? Some sf writers describe a future where “culling” (i.e. eugenics) eliminates deformities and illness, and any injury can be cured with transplants from your own clone. Other have miracle medicine where repairs take place at the genetic level at any level of physical development. Still others have invented ways to download your brain into a whole new body, which may or may not be your clone.
So, are we going to get more conservative or less conservative in our approach to dealing with severe birth defects?
I know this much: If we have national health care, and the government decides who gets what, you can bet your chromosomes that the financial aspect will be heavily weighted in the metrics that inform the decision.
As far as disabled persons being the “next” group to get rights…you missed it. It happened in the mid-90s, with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
http://www.jan.wvu.edu/links/adalinks.htm
What might be next, based on cases like the Boyces, might be Rights for Unborn Americans with Disabilities.
Shudder.
Okay, ice cream now.
Rochelle says:
July 14, 2007 at 17:05ok just wanted to say Ashley, Maia and Amanda all rock (for various reasons, but in this thread especially). Lovely show.
Leslie Ann Levine says:
July 14, 2007 at 21:08I just have to say that you guys made me flip. The second I heard the opening bars of Girl Anachronism, I started dancing in my seat. It’s one of my favorite songs. I’m so glad you guys got permission to play them on the show!
Alec says:
July 16, 2007 at 13:31Hello,
Pansy Caroní here. (More drag than porn, n’est-ce pas?)
And actually, Amanda, Fausto pronounced it right -
To Carol Channing it’s “Hello, Dolly”
To Salvador, it’s “Hello, Dalí” (with accent on the second syllable).
Yours,
Pansy
Miss_Amalthea says:
July 17, 2007 at 18:30Hi Amanda,
I was perusing the internet a few weeks ago (why would I be working at work?), and I came across this article written by a woman who chose to terminate her pregnancy after finding out about her child-to-be’s birth defects. Its an interesting read and gives a different point of view than the article you read on the podcast, I thought you might want to check it out: http://lifestyle.msn.com/mindbodyandsoul/womenintheworld/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=4595719
Love,
Erin
Andrew J says:
July 19, 2007 at 06:22Do you want to know what’s sad? When Amanda said that a square was an equilateral parallelogram, I thought to myself “Well that isn’t enough to define a square. It also needs to have 90 degree angles.” And then Amanda corrected herself and said that same thing. This is why I love Amanda Steinstein so much (well, one of many reasons actually)! And this is why I’m such a big dork.
Amanda Steinstein says:
July 19, 2007 at 21:03Erin…thanks for that link…amazing article. I hope I didn’t give the impression that aborting a severely deformed fetus should be an easy choice, either to make or to live with, but I still believe it’s the right choice.
Andrew…NERD! ![]()
Miss_Amalthea says:
July 19, 2007 at 22:53Amanda, I didn’t think that at all! Quite a heavy topic for our little forum here.
And Andrew, NERDS ARE SEXY!!!
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Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois.
Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools.
Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
View all entries by Fausto Fernós
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Cliff Dix says:
July 12, 2007 at 08:32My porn name would be Peanut Lincoln. That is my first pet and the street I grew up on. I think I’ll stick with the porn name I was given by my parents, Cliff Dix.
Love to hear Amanda on the show. Hi, Amanda.