By Fausto Fernós on November 5, 2007 | Share & Save | Link | Print |
Move over Larry Craig! Scandal just got a new best friend: conservative, closeted State Rep. Richard Curtis.
(NOTE: We apologize for getting his political job confused on the show, he’s not a Senator folks. My apologies.)
Joining the ever growing list of hypocritical Republicans who vote against gay rights but just can’t get enough of the man on man sex, last week Washington State Rep. Curtis got into a heap of trouble when a hook-up went horribly wrong and claims to have found himself being extorted by the man he had sex with.
Not one to let Halloween end on Oct. 31, according to The Columbian newspaper, Rep. Curtis loves to spice things up:
“The police report contains an account of how Curtis allegedly donned women’s clothing, red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top before engaging in a sex act at the store. He continued to wear them throughout the night under his clothing.”
Hot!
So what does Cody Castagna, his stud who may have been for hire, have to say about all this?
Castagna said at a press conference Tuesday:
“I feel that, honestly, I’m being wrongly accused and that (Curtis) is using his power to take it off of him and put it on me. He has completely changed what actually happened and turned it around for his favor.”
Marc thinks this is going to fade away, much like the political career of Rep. Curtis and the general public opinion on the Republican party. Cody will probably be offered a lucrative adult film contract which he will turn down and start his own Italian Stallion peek-a-boo website. We think Cody is hot, don’t you? Not $1,000 dollars worth, but maybe a steak dinner and a nice bottle of chianti.
Move over cigarettes! Cancer just got a new best friend: bacon.
This has not been a good week for America’s favorite pork product as a recent World Cancer Research Fund study found that eating red meat, and processed meats like bacon, pastrami and salami (please wait a moment while I drool a little) run the high risk of causing bowel cancer. What’s really torturous about the news article is the way they used THE most delicious image of bacon to torture the reader. Not surprisingly, a bogus meat lobby group, American Meat Institute calls the study hogwash.
Why does bacon need a lobby? If scientists said eating bacon causes immediate and violent death, they would still have to take bacon away from American’s cold dead hands.
Move over Jesus! There is a God just for gay people and he lives in Taiwan. His name is Ta Yeh and he’s out of the closet.
Taoist gays living in Taiwan are now turning to the Rabbit God “Ta Yeh,” once a gay guy who got killed for cruising a ruling official in 18th-century China in the bathroom. The greater gods took pity on him and named him the rabbit god. Because he’s not too popular of a deity, people worship him hoping the Rabbit God will have more time to listen to their prayers and deliver the man of their dreams. He’s like the ugly girl at the prom who will put out at the end of the night because she’s starved for attention.
Suck it Jesus, “Ta Yeh” is my new God!
Join Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós as we talk about skanky but hot celebrities, glow-in-the-dark shrimp and setting up a plastic Christmas tree. There are only 51 days left till Christmas. We’re looking for some skanky indie Holiday themed songs to play on the show in December, any ideas?
Congratulations Glenn! Your comment #4059 wins today’s Feast of Fools goodie box giveaway. Email us your t-shirt size and mailing address.
For the month of November we’re giving away eight goody boxes of music, t-shirts and assorted items to you, our listeners who comment on the shows. To enter to win, all you have to do is post a comment. No purchase necessary, void and nixed where prohibited.
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SleeperChoke says:
November 5, 2007 at 06:31Maybe those shrimp are radioactive like the spider that gave Peter Parker his special powers. Too bad shrimp don’t bite! You could be running around in your skin tight blue super FOF hero suit!!!
Just make sure that suit has a trap door in the front so you can invert your nemesis and make him take that super cock. All that blood rushing to your crotch and his head. FYI it’s hotter than it sounds. Give it a whirl!
Did I hear “Turkish wrestling is hot!”? Please elaborate.
Gary T says:
November 5, 2007 at 10:20I went to a Hell House in New Orleans a couple weeks ago. They could never get one of those open in California. They aren’t wheelchair accessible and the maze was too narrow if you are a plus sized person. When we got out of the maze, a masked person chased us away with a real running chainsaw. Anyplace other than there I think they would get sued out of existence.
Good show guys. It’s the year of the Republican gay sex scandals. It seems like that should be a daily segment.
GRW144 says:
November 5, 2007 at 10:21In case you haven’t seen the Battle of Hercules at the Palazzo Vecchio in Florence, grab your nuts and go see it!!! It’s the most homoerotic sculpture in Italy!
[Editor’s note: here’s a picture of the sculpture]
Ventura79 says:
November 5, 2007 at 11:47I love the shows where you guys talk current events! it makes me feel so learned! and yes Fausto, I also must remind myself not to molest cute young high school studs at the gym LOL! great show! MUAH !
Boston Bill says:
November 5, 2007 at 11:48Fausto And Marc: I agree sometimes you do have to spice up a relationship creatively. Fausto in a hand Stand!! LOL 
Speaking of Hand Stands
groggy says:
November 5, 2007 at 12:47Maybe all these republicans are secret agents of The Gay Lobby with a mission to compromise Republicans Party. What a sacrifice…
I don’t understand the standing 69 part… You would have to have really long hands Fausto, or… hm… Anyway, I’ll be waiting for an educational vidio on show me now.
RcktMan says:
November 5, 2007 at 15:00It gives me such joy to hear of another Republican ‘gay-hating’ loudmouth being caught with his pants down– literally– with a young twinky boy. At least he has good taste.
Thanks for the… whistle-out? Is that what we’re calling it now? Seems little Shia was just having a bit too much fun on his 21st birthday. Sheesh… on my 21st birthday I was with my family. And my first big drink? Bailey’s Irish Cream. I am such a dork. 
Hammy05 says:
November 5, 2007 at 16:29I’m dunzo with closeted gay-Republicans getting caught in bathrooms. Those stories don’t even amuse me anymore But DAYUM that Cody Castagna is one FABULOUS hottie. Where can I get me some of that??? LOL J/k, I got my own wonderful husband! What was with the turkish wrestling comment? I’m lost on that one too!
Marc Felion says:
November 5, 2007 at 17:48This is where the Turkish wrestling thread started
http://www.feastoffools.net/community/topic.php?id=1353&replies=6
Cassiano says:
November 5, 2007 at 18:44Ta Yeh save the Feast of Fools!
Everyone gets the animals they deserve! A Rabbit God is just perfect!
Love you guys!
Brain Fork says:
November 5, 2007 at 22:54AHAHAHA… Hell house… such ridiculous crap. How was it Gary? Did you get some good laughs from it’s absurdity?
Groggy, the standing 69 doesn’t require a handstand, as the upside-down person can lean against the right side up person (though there are other variations). I’m also intrigued by your “gay secret agent” theory… that would be sad and hilarious if it were true.
I’m starting to agree with Hammy about the “outing of republicans” … now it’s just sad and pathetic.
Great show as usual guys! Can’t wait for the next one in about 6 minutes (since it’s 11:54 pm)
Marc Felion says:
November 6, 2007 at 03:02I can’t get enough of the outed closeted republicans. Each story is more and more ridiculous.
Michael says:
November 6, 2007 at 14:51Fasuto and Marc, that was one of the funniest shows. I nearly drove off the road on my bike this afternoon, from laughing so hard. Much love!
groggy says:
November 6, 2007 at 14:57Fausto and Marc, you should warn people against listening to FoF and driving to avoid a potential lawsuit.
lis says:
November 7, 2007 at 01:44Great show but what an awful whistle! I was moaning in pain and tearing the earphones off in the bus. You know what was the worst part? It reminded me of a dentist’s drill, and even worse than that, I started listening to the show as I was making my way to the dentist with a tootache. Ouch!
Chris says:
November 7, 2007 at 04:27Hey! Been listening to your show for a couple of weeks now and love it. First time comment so here goes!
The Taipei Times article about the Rabbit god was very interesting! I remember when I was studying in Beijing, China, Rabbit （兔子） was a slang for gay people — I asked around and it seems that since rabbits multiple so quickly, it must be the metaphor for how gay people mate…I didn’t know they made it into a shrine/god now!
jose fournier says:
November 8, 2007 at 19:17hey guys, about the bacon, i can’t stress enough that is bad news for a CANADIEN! LOL
but Marc is right it is the nitrate in process food. So far slice roast beef by Piller have no nitrate.
OH and you can pray for me y’all, I’m a rabbit, hee hee, 1963!
LOve YOu!
Larry La Fountain says:
November 9, 2007 at 13:59Hey! That was pretty funny, hearing Fausto impersonate me on today’s show…. so y’all think I sound like that, huh? LOL That was cute of you. My friend Licia once described the way I talk as typical “Academia del Perpetuo Socorro” speak (that’s the school I went to in Miramar, a neighborhood in San Juan, Puerto Rico) but I really think it sounded more like CPN (Colegio Puertorriqueño de Niñas)–the premiere all-girls school that of course I didn’t go to. Oh well.
SAL-E says:
November 11, 2007 at 14:38I love Gingers………………….pronounced GIN-JA’s
and Hookers that get caught…………………..Get your Coin up front!
No Trade without getting Paid!
Love ya
-SAL-E
bowdownza says:
December 3, 2007 at 18:16thank god for your explanation of the photophosphurescent bacteria. Me and my boyfriend saw this on the beach in mexico one night and I suspected it was somekind of plankton or animal but we were really freaked out at the time. It was like hundreds of tiny green blue lights all over the shore.
One of life’s mysteries revealed…999more to go…
Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois.
Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools.
Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
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goldie | July 4, 2008
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LATEST
Neezil says:
November 5, 2007 at 05:11Thanks for the shout out. You guys are more than welcome should you ever want to come to Taiwan.
Regarding the rabbit temple article in the Taipei Times: a gay writer from the States wrote into the editorial section a few days later complaining that the rabbit god belittles gays because it marginalizes them.
I disagree with that. I just think it’s good fun. It’s just something people here can embrace and have fun with, or take seriously if they are of a religious bent.
The burning money thing here drives me crazy. On burning days the pollution gets really bad. Picture hundreds of thousands of people and businesses burning money on the street. This happens once or twice a month, and even more often during ghost month when the ghosts need to be appeased so they don’t cause trouble for people. Ghost month means black skies and air filter masks.