FOF #650 - Sound the Alarm - 11.14.07

By Fausto Fernós on November 14, 2007 | | Link | Print |

 
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Sabrina Matthews performs with us LIVE!
There’s a new drug in town and it’s stinky, stinky, stinky! If you thought candy flavored crack was far out, the police in Florida are warning parents and schools across the country of a new drug trend that’s sweeping the nation.

The worst aspect of it is that it doesn’t cost a cent to produce. What is it? It’s literally SHIT.

More specifically, Jenkum or “Butt Hash” — the fumes created when feces and urine are mixed together in a plastic bottle with a balloon on top and then left the sun to ferment. Talk about recycling!Police and schools in Florida are worried that teenagers will start huffing it.

If they start persecuting this, the next time someone’s dad says “pull my finger” he could go to jail for being a drug pusher!

That’s not Yoo Hoo this kid is huffing, it’s JENKEM! Pictured on the left here is some poor kid from the Collier sheriff’s official report warning people of the “new drug- Jenkem.” Check out the odd look of pleasure on this kid’s face.

I smell something funny here and it’s not teenage kids huffing farts. Honestly, huffing methane gas? Theoretically, you can get high on ANYTHING that cuts off the flow of oxygen to your brain. Those “pleasure signals” really are your body’s way of saying “stop it you freaking moron!”

I don’t think this is a hoax as much it is a lame attempt by news organizations and police municipalities to draw attention and dollars to this even though there have been NO documented cases of anyone doing it.

Honestly, how do you even begin to prosecute someone wanting to inhale the gases released by human waste? Are they going to start burning fecal matter to prevent people from getting stoned? Will beano be a mandatory drug?

The whole ridiculousness of this farts as drugs phenomena clearly illustrates the terrible job we’re doing as a society in addressing why people abuse drugs and how to discourage it.

If smelling farts is equal to doing drugs they should have put me in jail a long time ago. I’m not just a drug dealer, I’m a drug pusher.

Ouch! Facebook user Kevin Colvin gets the axe at his bank job for lying about taking time off workOn today’s show were talking to glorious lesbian comedian Sabrina Matthews, who’s right now touring the nation with her fabulous stand up comedy act. Sabrina’s performing this week in Houston Texas at the Laff Stopp Wednesday through Saturday, go check her out!

Listen as Sabrina Matthews joins Marc Felion and me, Fausto Fernós to discuss Boy George getting indicted for his attempts to capture an audience, odd animal news and the funny story of Kevin Colvin (picture here on the right), the cute banking intern who got busted on Facebook for posting pictures of himself as a drunk fairy.

Kevin lost his job for lying to his boss about need to take time off work for a “family emergency” except his emergency was the need to don a green fairy costume, get drunk and party the night away. You go girl!

ATTENTION HOUSTON, TEXAS LISTENERS!!!
Check out Sabrina Matthews at the Laff Stop Comedy Club
Wednesdsay-Sunday, Nov. 14-17, 8pm (weekends two shows at 8 & 10:30pm)
www.sabrinamatthews.com

See you there!
World of Chocolate: Sweet Dreams
AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s highly anticipated annual holiday fundraising event
Thursday, November 29, 5:30-9 p.m.
Get your tickets now!


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  • Sabrina, you are great to listen to. You really come across as down to earth, smart and funny. Love it. Love that you were on the show again and can’t wait until you come again. As for the Faery, he is cute and if he got fired for taking some PTO days then he should work somewhere else anyway. Who would want to work somewhere where you can’t take a day now and again.

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  • About The Author: Fausto Fernós

    Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
    View all entries by Fausto Fernós

    Darque Tan - JUNE 2009

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