FOF #792 - Sex on the Superhighway - 07.02.08

By Fausto Fernós on July 2, 2008 | | Link | Print |

 
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Lifelube Panel of Experts

How do you get off and have a good time on the internet superhighway without a fender bender?

On today’s show we have the recording of the live forum that Marc Felion and I, Fausto Fernós, moderated at the Center on Halsted last month. The forum was developed and sponsored by our friends at Lifelube to figure out how to have fun and be safe while looking for sex or love online. This forum featured three great experts on how the internet is changing our sexuality.

First, Stephan Adelson, former general manager of Manhunt, a hook up site for men seeking sex with men. He was part of the team that introduced the idea of displaying one’s HIV status in online personal profiles.

Stephan currently works as the Executive Director of the nonprofit Internet Intervention Incorporated. He also works as an internet consultant on privacy issues and recently developed National Guidelines for Internet Interventions (PDF).

Second, Beau Gratzer, director of HIV and STD prevention at Howard Brown Health Center. Beau oversees many sexual health programs including those targeted to gay men online in Chicago.

Beau served on the National Coalition of STD Directors’ expert advisory committee that recently published the “Internet Interventions Guidelines” which provide guidance to health departments and community organizations providing HIV/STI related health information and programs online

And Third, Doctor Brian Mustanski, Assistant professor at the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago. Brian is among the first to study how gay, lesbian and bisexual people interact online.

He developed one of the first online studies of gay lesbian and bisexual people. The majority of his work focuses on the development of “sexual minority” people and how the Internet affects us. He is also working on a study on the health and development of LGBT youth.

Listen as we talk about looking for sex and love online, the mysterious bug chasers, internet addiction and the the hunting instinct,

We also take questions from the fabulous people who attended this very fun and informative questions from the audience.

You can also read a blow by blow account of the forum at Michael Lehet’s blog, “What’s A Boy To Do.” Thank you Michael!

Check out today’s sponsor:

Gay, Sexy, Health- Lifelube.org
Your “big tent” guide to gay men’s health,
from sex and drugs to Faeries and Bears
Your friendly concierge for all that’s gay, sexy and healthy.


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  • the zak says:

    July 2, 2008 at 6:18 am

    What home tests for STDs are available?… Home HIVAb tests?… Rapid HIVAb tests… Home chlamydia tests?… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chlamydia_infection Home tuberculosis tests?… http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2008/06/30/who_new_quick_tb_test_rolled_out_in_africa/ What home tests for STDs are in the pipeline?… Diagnostics For All appears to be developing home testing for STDs http://www.diagnosticsforall.org/products.html

    I’ll get tested TOGETHER with my next potential sex partner BEFORE we have sex, for A VARIETY of STDs.

    Reply

  • Pete says:

    July 2, 2008 at 11:24 am

    the forum on hooking up online was interesting despite the internet being just a fad. i prefer whoring around the old-fashioned way….the intro with the “do and don’ts” of online pictures was cute…you guys own the stage!

    mr. adelson was a good interviewee and really does look like somebody who would be the former general manager of manhunt.

    thanks for posting that pic of my co-worker (we were there for work/research), michael, and me on your flickr. I was totally feeling michael up during that shot.

    the forum about drinking should be fun. maybe i can finally conquer my raging alcoholism.

    Reply

  • Michael says:

    July 2, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Great forum guys, very glad that I could do a “live blogging event” was a lot of fun trying to see how fast I could type to keep up with you.

    And yes, Pete was totally feeling me up, that’s why I’ve got that nice big smile on my face!

    Reply

  • jimberly says:

    July 2, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Ah, the internets — I never really enjoyed hooking up online - though when I did try it, it was with those lame-o AOL M4M chatrooms - decidely pre-Manhunt. Back in tha day. I remember one hook up where we tried to be respectable and met for dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant in Edgewater - as an appetizer to the full steamycourse that was going to happen later. Our conversation was so dull - we talked about favorite colors and food (his favorite food was lettuce and potatoes - no lie) So, after the check was paid - what seemed like an eternity after we sat down and discussed potatoes - my internet friend asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I begged off - something about needing to wash my hair, and not wanting to miss the Mad TV re-run….. It was Saturday night after all, and I liked to get my rest…. Ugh. Give me grabby meat-ups in bars and bathhouses!

    Can’t wait for the alcohol forum at Sidetrack!

    Reply

  • kennidi says:

    July 2, 2008 at 1:36 pm

    It was a very interesting forum. I was in the audience with my bf Sean…very interesting discussion!! I’ll remember that day for a very long time, first time he told me he loved me!!! So I dont know what the fags on stage were doing to make him tell me that he loved me! LOL!

    The three experts were awesome! It was nice to hear their views and opinions!!! Learned a few things!

    Keep it up boys and Jim!!!!

    Much Love,
    Kennidi

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    July 2, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Well there is your problem Jim: Ethiopian food? Never take a date to dinner in a place where you eat with your hands. Kennidi- your boyfriend Sean is really cute, hold on tight to your man!

    At the end of the day, the benefits of meeting people online for sex or otherwise outweigh the risks involved. I just wish all this technology was around when I was in night school.

    Reply

  • DC_gay_man says:

    July 2, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    BBC 3 (which permits bit torrents) had a show called “I love being HIV+” which explores the concept of being a bug chaser and on-line dating. The goal of the documentary was to meet a bug chaser and convince him to change his mind and continue to retain their HIV - status. While the documentary found those that had seroconverted, it never evolved to finding a physical person who really was a “bug chaser.”

    I thought the most interesting points: (1) sex was historically about birth/death and there was a middle ground of antibiotics which offered the illusion of safety, (2) questioned why current AIDS campaigns don’t mimic the current anti-smoking campaigns by explaining that drugs and the disease offer diarrhea, liver damage, nausea, blindness, etc. and (3) wonders if the the gay community have to be sensitive to the HIV+ community with scare tactic campaigns.

    The documentary deals with on-line dating, HIV + clubs, and aspects of male sexuality in the UK.
    Link: http://www.gay-torrents.net/torrent/60925

    Reply

  • the zak says:

    July 2, 2008 at 9:34 pm

              audio 1:06:11
              http://www.feastoffools.net/
              gay-fun-show/2008/07/02/
              fof-792-sex-on-the-superhighway-070208/
              > …about serosorting…
              > About 60 percent of HIV infections occur from
              > having sex with someone who does not know their
              > HIV status.
              >
              > The vast majority of HIV is transmitted in that
              > fashion.
              >
              > And serosorting was really started in an organic
              > movement among HIV positive guys that they
              > wouldn’t have to disclose their status to someone
              > who would reject them sexually and for a host of
              > other reasons in a lot of urban centers around the
              > country.
              >
              > And it sort has been coopted by a lot of HIV
              > negative men to give them license to have
              > unprotected sex which is really dangerous.
              >
              > And I think that from a public health perspective
              > it’s really important to remember that your HIV
              > status is in some ways only so good as your most
              > recent test if it’s done outside the window period.
              >
              > And it’s something that we need to remember
              > that if someone tells you they’re negative or their
              > profile says they’re negative that shouldn’t be the
              > end of the conversation. It should be the
              > beginning.

    Your next words should be: let’s determine our current HIV status by going to an STD clinic, getting tested, and then sharing our test results.

    Reply

  • Mikey Dee says:

    July 2, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    This was such a great podcast…very informative. I just started having sex..and i need to get tested. So far i have gotten like over ten mosquito bites….remember..if you have sex in the woods..bring bug spray.

    Reply

  • jimberly says:

    July 3, 2008 at 6:13 am

    There have been HIV campaigns in the US that very clearly showed the effects of being HIV+ and taking nasty, toxic drugs - the one I am thinking about is called “HIV is no picnic” and features men with “crix belly”, night sweats, diarrhea and facial wasting. Here is the link
    http://socialmarketing.com/campaign.aspx?v=campaign&s=hivisnopicnic&id=hivisnopicnic

    These ads made some people upset - I found them to be refreshingly truthful - speaking as someone who has spent a lot of time on the toilet,or running for one (and occasionally getting there a bit too late), in the last 13 years.

    As for bug chasers - what a ridiculous and inflammatory topic to make a documentary about. The BBC did not find any, because, well, there are exceedingly rare. Focussing our efforts on supposed people who seek out HIV doesn’t begin to respond to the vast majority of folks’ risk taking that could lead to a seroconversion.

    And back to you Fausto - if someone has an issue eating with their hands, they are likley to be dull in bed, no?

    xo

    Reply

  • Barbieboy07 says:

    July 3, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    what an awesome forum! Sadly i couldn’t make it that day, but after listening to the podcast I really wish i could have been there!
    Okay speaking for the gay and bi teens here, the main website we use to hook up is Downelink.com, which is a site sponsored by LOGO. Even though downelink is more of an urban GLBT website, it is definitely the most used site for younger gay kids. I’ve hooked up using that site in the past and it really wasn’t for me (mainly because i tend to date older men). Most of my lesbian friends are dedicated to the site, more so than myspace even.

    I think the Howard Brown Health Center should focus on Downelink and other websites targeted at young gay kids. Having information available to gay kids is essential. For the most part i feel that teens want to learn about their sexual health, most are just afraid of finding out if they already carry a disease or if their partner does. Unfortunately i know people that still choose to hook up online and not use condoms, believe me i’ve preached until my cheeks turn blue, the fact is that some people will never care about their health, or the consequences of their actions…

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    July 4, 2008 at 12:40 am

    Here is a thought experiment. Take your index finger, wet it with your mouth, rub your pecs with it a little and get all hot and bothered until you feel a boner in your shorts!

    Reply

  • the zak says:

    July 4, 2008 at 2:44 am

    That no longer works for me.

    Reply

  • Courtney says:

    July 8, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Was at the forum and found the panel, the audience and the conversation terrific. Our LGBT community needs to continue these conversations about how we connect. I’m looking forward to the alcohol forum at SideTrack on the 23rd.

    Reply

  • Reginaldo Araujo says:

    July 8, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    Hi there! This podcast was very informative. Unfortunatelly we don’t have a podcast like this in Brazil - so far as I know.

    When I first heard the call for it I thought it was about making sex on highways, I couldn’t help but laugh on my own ignorance.

    Reply

  • jimberly says:

    July 8, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    LOL Reginaldo!

    How cute is that!!!

    Maybe it the title of the forum didn’t translate so well into Portuguese, eh?

    xxoo

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    July 8, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    Ha ha, yes please have your sex at the truck stops not on the roads.

    Reply

  • Jeff G says:

    July 14, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Great discussion and Marc and Fausto, you guys are so wonderful!

    It seems like we (the audience) really shy away from the real *meat* of the discussion in the forums. Can you blame us?

    If you want a great way to get answers to the -real- questions you have regarding sex, health, and the internet you can always ask while you’re ON Manhunt or Adam4Adam!

    For Manhunt, you can click on Help Center in the lower left of your screen and search for a support profile in your state.

    For Adam4Adam, it’s a little harder to find someone to talk to for answers. There are health resources on the “my account” page, though. Also, you could always find me or one of Howard Brown’s online health educators for nonjudgemental, confidential, and friendly answers!

    Look us up at std_info_chicago on both MH and A4A (many more sites to come as we want to be where you are - so remember our screenname!).

    Also, BarbieBoy, I will def. look into Downelink.com as a place to do some outreach! Thanks for the tip!

    Reply

  • Reginaldo Araujo says:

    July 14, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Hi Jimberly, I think that part of the misunderstanding is because we usually don’t call the internet like that (superhigway) and also because there might be - some place in my subconscious - a desire of having wild sex, not in the highways (neither in the superhighway), but in truck stops as suggested by Fausto.

    Reply

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    • About The Author: Fausto Fernós

    Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
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