FOF #797 - The Second Starbucks to the Right - 07.11.08

By Fausto Fernós on July 11, 2008 | Share & Save | Link | Print |

 
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Barb Kingston on the Feast of Fools podcast

It’s so good to run into old friends!

On today’s show one of my old gal pals Barb Kingston joins us to talk about transforming herself into a happier, loving lesbian.

Barb was one of the very first guests on the show back when we started four years ago as an audio blog. This was even before iTunes created its fantastic podcast directory and allowed millions of listeners to download and enjoy the Feast of Fools every day.

Fausto Fernós and Barb KingstonToday Barb lives in Boulder, Colorado and is currently traveling the Midwest visiting friends and simply enjoying life. She eats a much healthier diet and has disavowed her love for cheese fries. I like to think of cheese fries as an ex-girlfriend you still love but for health reasons don’t have sex with anymore.

Barb used to work at Starbucks and used to get me free coffee drinks, which re-ignited my love for the mega-coffee chain’s brew. But all is not so pretty in Starbucksland.

starbucksThe closing of over 600 stores has sparked a heated discussion in our community forums on the economy, large corporations, elitism and what it means to be an American. Obama’s peeps should take note of this division, because it lies very close to the heart of how many Americans feel about large corporations and how they impact our everyday lives.

Katy Perry has a #1 iTunes chart song "I Kissed A Girl"I don’t know if you noticed it, but suddenly many women in Hollywood this past year have embraced their “lesbian relationships” but not their identity. Even right now on the iTunes music store, the #1 song is Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl which talks about Katy, a straight woman, contemplating her mixed feelings about being attracted to another woman.

Michael Jackson looking his usual chipper selfJust when you thought it was safe to go into the children’s section of a toy store, look who came by for a little shopping! Michael Jackson, looking more like Howard Huges than the king of pop. I’m not sure why Jack-O is in a wheelchair but I hope he hasn’t lost the ability to moon walk.

Barb considers herself to be a titty connoisseur so we decided to challenge her to test at Fake or Not, a website that shows you women’s breast and then asks you to judge whether they are fake or not. Since I’m not very knowledgeable about what a real or fake boob looks like (I only felt Kathy Griffin’s boobs, I never actually saw them unharnessed) we looked up how to tell a real boob from a fake one. Basically, if it looks fake, it probably is fake. If they are too high, too round, too pert or if the still stand at attention when the girl is laying down then they are probably fake.

The state of Wisconsin has officially made it illegal to have sex with a corpse. A group of three men were almost let go after trying to dig up a twenty year old motorcycle victim after she had been dead for a week. They never got to her body but the government was hard pressed to find a law to charge them with. Eventually they settled on a law that says it’s illegal to have sex with someone against their will and since a dead person can’t give consent they are being charged.

The three of them almost didn’t get charge with anything since a lower court judges ruled nothing in state law banned necrophilia. There was a public outrage in Wisconsin after one blogger wrote: “Doing the dirty with the dead OK in Wisconsin.”

Sex laws vary from state to state and some state’s laws are absolutely ridiculous. Did you know that giving or receiving head is against the law in 18 states, including Arizona and Utah? Here is a list of ten ridiculous sex laws. Some of these laws you just have to wonder who introduced them to the legislature floor.

The podcast that melts in your mouth, your hands, pretty much everywhere- Feast of Fools.

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great show guys, and thanks for the shout out. Fausto, I can’t believe you went into the Starbucks I was talking about and asked them if they thought I was talking about them! Nice ;-)

There is a very friendly woman who works there one day a week, and at another Starbucks in the city 2 days a week…which is who i was referring to ;-)

I like Starbucks although I don’t go there often. Just two weeks ago a new Starbucks store opened near my building. Till now no local coffee shops have closed because of Starbucks. But because Starbucks opened more stores, local coffee shops have improved their service, coffee and food. They usually offer free wireless Internet, better cake and bigger cups than Starbucks now. Still, Starbucks is usually crowded.

Companies don’t have to offer health care insurance, so I think you cannot judge a company by if they offer health care insurance or not. The government has to offer universal health care. If they don’t do, I am with Fausto who consider it as crime. It would be easy for the U.S. to offer universal health care, they just have to cut their military budget. For me it is hard to imagine to live without health care. Despite the changes in the German health care system it is still one of the best. If I want to see a doctor I get an appointment at same day or the next day usually, sometimes before the holiday season max within a week. As student I pay about 50 Euro for the health assurance, pus 20 Euro for an extra teeth assurance. When you work it depends on your income, usually about 400 Euro a month. If you earn more than 48.150 Euro a year you can leave the universal health assurance and can join a private assurance if you want to.

I agree with Marc about working for a small business. I used to work for a tanning salon and the lady who owned it was out of her freaking mind. One time she got mad at me because I wasn’t using the coin hopper that she had bought because it was faster to count the change by hand. She flipped out and broke all the rolls of change open so I would have to use the coin hopper. It was always something crazy with that lady. I still work for a small company but they treat me good. However I know that a lot of my friends who work for large corporations i.e. American Eagle, or Time Warner have much better benefits than I do and more rights as an employee. Including benefits for same sex couples. I know that in Nebraska it is still legal to fire someone for their sexual orientation so working for a small company as a gay man can be scary. Basically a lot of larger corporations are more gay friendly, at least in Nebraska.

I love Starbucks it’s fast and they always have cute boys working at the one by my house. We also have serveral local coffee shops here but they aren’t as convenient. The people who frequent them usually spend a lot of time there talking or reading. I just want a quick cup of coffee to go. If a cute boy serves it up, even better.

yay, a podcast featuring a Real Lesbian! — with Real Boobs, I presume. Barb is hilarious.

I wish I could recommend a mexican place with great food + great coffee, but I don’t know of any around here. Here’s our workaround: 1. go to coffeeshop and get great coffee, 2. go to mexican restaurant with great coffee in hand, and get great food to go with it. It would be nice to have a one-step, one-stop solution though!

I want to have Marc’s quote put on a plaque and hung on the wall of the small business I used to work for:
“I want rights and protection… FROM YOUR MADNESS.”

One of my weirder moments there was when my boss came over to my desk and out of the blue started singing “Inch by inch, row by row…” — like all 4 verses of it! With continuous creepy eye contact. Completely awkward. Maybe it was supposed to be motivational? I will never know.

Could I just put it out there that I think the fight over Starbucks (and everything else that people are bitching about that is completely unrelated to the issue at hand) is really stupid. If you don’t like it, don’t go. And if you want that consistency, then go.

50+ years ago, when McDonalds opened, the nation was dominated by small, Mom and Pop burger joints. Now, there are barely any left. I would imagine the same thing happening with Starbucks and smaller coffee houses. But today, no one complains about there being no more lucnchcounters left.

Oh, and don’t forget Coke and soda counters, department/grocery chains and general stores… the list goes on and on.

Regardless of Starbucks’ business practices, they have made a name for themselves. There is demand for their products. I don’t like them at all, personally, and do whatever I can to stay away from their stores.

Perhaps it can be said that Starbucks, while successful in the business world, has failed the larger idea of cafe culture and betrayed the idea of an intimate, locally run operation that actually serves good, quality product. Not just a bunch of cups of wet sugar.

PS: I make my living working at a small, intimate, locally run operation that serves good, quality coffee. And I spend every day explaining to people that a ‘caramel macchiato’ is actually just a vanilla latte with whipped cream and caramel on top. If I have one problem with Starbucks, this is it. They’ve convinced many many people they know something, when in reality… they know nothing.

I love Barb! She is an inspirational spirit. I love hearing from anyone that is out to enjoy life and having a good time. One more thing, more lesbians on the show.

As far as Starbucks goes, I have no opinion because I do not drink coffee. I drink tea.

That was absolutely hilarious!

I really enjoyed Barb on this podcast. She did great! I hope she comes back and joins you boys on future shows. You three have great chemistry! I must admit that I am a Starbucks addict. I hope they do not close the one closest to me. Who am I kidding? There about 20 in about a 10 block radius. I have to go now. I need a grande non-fat latte! :-)

Barb is really f’ing hillarious! If she had her own podcast I’d totally listen. It was refreshing to hear Barb’s post party line insider perspective on Starbucks. Incidentally I posted about a taste test done by Consumer Reports last year in which they rated McDonalds coffee higher than Starbucks:

Starbucks, $1.55, was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open.

leave starbucks and other corporate giants alone. consumers are ultimately responsible for their unholy growth by choosing to buy their products. direct your complaints to the guy with a laptop, the obnoxious students studying for finals, the office worker that’s always in a hurry, and the countless homeless people that frequent starbucks.

i walk by “thousand waves” often on my way home and it’s what i imagine a sauna managed by the people of “stargaze” to be. i clutch my purse as i walk by all the birkenstock, flannel shirt clad troublemakers that loiter outside. allegedly.

Is that what happened with the gasoline prices too Pete? Is that just supply and demand at work?

There’s no such thing as a free market according to Chomsky.

yeah, something like that trickytoro. i would imagine if people stopped buying gas they would eventually lower prices. they’re getting away with it because they can. but i’m no economist or barista, so its my alleged speculation. and i wouldn’t be too worried about gasoline since that’s why we’re in iraq, right?

chomsky also said to relax….wait, that was frankie.

holla holla!
I listened to the podcast on the road from Cheyanne to Denver yesterday afternoon… Gave away my old mini ipod stuffed with music and feast of fools podcasts to my dear friend to listen to while she drives the rest of the way to Des Moines. She was cracking up and listening the whole time, but frowned when Fausto mentioned nationalized health care. I dont know what to say about that.

politics curdles the custard.

I wrote last night and fragged the posting, when I woke up, it was on a yellow sticky on my monitor….

Chomp, Chomp, Noam Chomsky

I’m only 20 mins in but had to pause it and comment before I forget. On the 20 hours a week thing Barb mentioned, I used to work for Wal-Mart and they would let part-timers work over 30 hour weeks like a full-time employee. But so they didn’t have to pay me or others overtime they would lie on the books and slowly space out the extra hours I had done over several weeks when I had worked less then 30. They got away with it b/c Wal-Mart owns everything it uses to function. From the employees to the offices that regulate and set the rules so in the end they would never get caught by the government. It was their way of over working you on holidays and not having to give you the overtime pay so Wal-Mart can save itself some money. No wonder they can sell you shit for less cause they dont pay fairly. Corporate America is a f*cking machine. I hate it b/c in the end no one wins.

Great show, Loved Barb. I found a fairly decent Parody to Kate Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” Its very hot. Hope ya’ll enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BSjbicw59U
Awesome show! Hope to hear Barb on again. Love ya’ll!
Matty

Great show. Loved Barb, so very real and honest. Hope to hear her on again sometime. :) I found a fairly hot gay parody to Kate Perry’s hit, “I Kissed a Girl” Hope Ya’ll enjoy it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BSjbicw59U

Great show guys!

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About The Author: Fausto Fernós

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
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