My Compliments

By Fausto Fernós on September 5, 2007 | Share & Save | Link | Print |

I think the whole point of giving a compliment is to a way to form closer bonds with people, so here’s some ideas to think about when you’re wanting to pay a compliment to someone or find yourself receiving one.

GIVING A COMPLIMENT

• Think of it as a gift from your heart.
• Be sincere in your opinion.

Steps to take:
1- Find a specific quality you admire in the other person
2- Back it up with the reason WHY you think so.
3- Follow up with a question.
4- Listen.

• Don’t compare them to others in a positive or negative way. “You’re just like this other person.”
• Be sincere by being confident in your opinion.
• Ask for nothing in return. Don’t give a compliment if what you really want something back from it (like a favor) Ask for that instead.

RECEIVING A COMPLIMENT

1- Thank them, then stop. Don’t let anything negative come out of your mouth.
2- Think about the compliment.
3- Share with them how the compliment makes you feel.

• Do not dismiss their opinion. Many of us have been conditioned to dismiss compliments.
• Don’t transfer the credit. This is your chance to receive love.
• If you want to share credit, do so only after the feelings have been acknowledged.

A compliment is a great opportunity to form a closer bond between people and raise people’s confidence in themselves.

Here’s my attempt to pay our audience a no-strings-attached compliment:

I think you, our listeners, are great people. I really enjoy reading your responses on the website and in the community. Whenever we meet, we always have a great time and you never disappoint me when I need your support. I want you guys to know how much joy it is to me to be able to speak to such a colorful and wonderful set of people on a daily basis. What are your hopes and dreams?

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Thank you, thank you! Um, I hope to one day create a sense of common family (or at least civility) in my housing co-ops. It’s a big job and I know I can’t do it alone. Your show gives me good points on how to approach social problems with the right attitude. And guys can show how to throw a really good party!

*you guys. lol

AWWW! Thank you Fausto. I think that stuff like this is just the reason why the Feast of Fools is so successful. You take the time to make us, the listeners, feel valued and needed. We appreciate it on a daily basis, from the bottom of our hearts.

This is the best message ever! I totally believe in spreading the good around….you guys rock so hard!

This was a fun show I’m glad you brought this one back it was i fun show and i really enjoyed hearing it since i wasn’t listening when it was broadcast the first time i can’t wait for the show when you guys goto the awards this year

I’m glad you guys liked the ideas on giving compliments. I was worried it was too cerebral but I guess a lot of good hopefully will come out of it and people’s relationships will grow only closer.

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About The Author: Fausto Fernós

Born in San Juan, Puerto Rico, Fausto Fernós created the Feast of Fools in 1998 as wacky artists variety show in Chicago, Illinois. Along with his partner Marc Felion, he hosts the world's most downloaded talk show for gay people on the internet, Feast of Fools. Fausto loves pomegranates, waterfalls and 70s retro funk music.
View all entries by Fausto Fernós

Lifelube-FORUM-JULY 2008

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