Why Do I Hate Angel Wings?

By defekto on May 16, 2008 | | Link | Print |

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Angel wings look like shit on nearly everyone. They’re too cutsie on children and everyone else either looks like they should be in a choir or are trying too hard to get laid. I also secretly think that Michael Alig killed that guy (whose name was Angel) because he always wore angel wings and not because of drugs. The Party Monster killer proved that angels go down pretty easily with a blow to the head from a hammer.

But today I am saddened because the only angel that mattered to me is dead. On Tuesday, John Phillip Law, who starred as Pygar in Barbarella died. He was also the super sexy, incredibly fashionable criminal mind Diabolik, of Mario Bava’s fantastic Danger: Diablik. R.I.P. JPL.

Photo Top: Every Halloween no matter how cold it is, you can always find an angel. They are pretty to look at, but I prefer their demonic counterparts. Photo Below: Two friends this past Halloween dressed as Pygar and Barbarella.

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  • Marc Felion says:

    May 16, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    That’s hot. Love Barbarella’s pack of KOOL cigarettes in her titty.

    Reply

  • defekto says:

    May 16, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Marc, I was looking at that and at first I thought she had some K-Y jelly in there!

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    May 16, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Gays just LOVE their fracking angel wings!

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 16, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    I cannot tell you how much I hate them fags that wear them EVERY HALLOWEEN, CIRCUIT PARTY or location where there is not enough room to be wearing Wings…..
    Listen here DUMB ASS you hit me one more time with your wings and I will rip them off of you. Nothing like having some drunk or fucked up individual smack you in the face with a wing………..First off they are too big and the person never wears them the correct way.
    Two they end up getting wilted or fucked up within the first hour of wearing them. and Three unless you look like an Angel or Devil then you do not need wings………just get them tatooed on your back.
    here is a simple solution…..get a marker and have someone draw them on your back…….
    Ta Dah………….you now have wings…… now fly away.
    Love ya
    -SAL-E

    Reply

  • patchouli_stink says:

    May 16, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    Sal-E will cut a bitch.

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    May 16, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    Still, it’s a nice excuse for a hot guy to walk around shirtless. “An angel can not make love, because an angel IS love.” I’m not sure what I’m looking at here. But he sure has a big thirst quenching water bottle.

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 17, 2008 at 5:02 am

    Oh my gosh, what the Crap is that with the Tan lines………….Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    Or is that baby powder????? I like them bigger in the boy parts department too.
    Look at the smurk………….makes me just want to slap him………with LOVE!
    Yes, I want one!
    Is that was a Farmers tan looks like if I were on the Gay Farm……..
    Nice shaved legs.
    Work it!
    Love ya
    -SAL-E

    Reply

  • defekto says:

    May 17, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    haaa…Great idea for a benefit…screw the dunking booth…a Bitch Slap the Angel booth would rake in the dough!

    Reply

  • Trannylover says:

    May 18, 2008 at 4:28 am

    I’d like to slap the shit out of Sal-E, Jim, Fausto, Marc. I want to see the boys of the FOF with wings! Feast of Fools gives you wings. Fly babies fly.

    Reply

  • defekto says:

    May 18, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Why don’t we meet half way over a plate of Buffalo Wings?

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 18, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    I already have wings trannylover………………..I got mine in ink on my back……in case I don’t get them later. You just try and slap me and see who winds up without any teeth. You strike me and see what happens, know this I am happy with who I am can you say the same?
    How dare you! Oh yeah,
    Nice Picture on your profile.
    Slap yourself and call yourself what you want.
    You are not supposed to hate in 2008.
    You obviously do not listen to the show on a regular basis.
    IML is coming and only certain Daddies will be Spanking me.
    Ever get Flogged? Try it you just might like it.
    Once again don’t try and come for me. TRUST ME, YOU CAN”T HANDLE ME!
    Love ya
    -SAL-E

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 18, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    And What?

    Reply

  • Marc Felion says:

    May 18, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    But it is for charity “Bitch Slap for Charity” That could be your first charity event when you start that cult thing you keep talking about.

    Reply

  • Fausto Fernós says:

    May 18, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    I don’t mind hot guys like these angel-studs slapping me, just as long as it isn’t TOO hard. After all, an angel can’t make love because an angel IS love, but an angel can slap the shit out of you and make it feel like a kiss.

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 19, 2008 at 12:52 am

    Where are you both getting your information?
    My Glitter Group will show the World how to Sparkle!
    I am kidding what Clut thing are you talking about.
    Or which one?
    We all join groups and organizations for different reasons…
    I would love to be a part of anything especially if I know that I could not make a difference in one way or another. THIS IS WHY I AM STILL APART OF THE FEAST OF FOOLS.
    That and who else is going to give me a chance to speak and voice my opinion?
    I love being a part of a show that gives back in form of entertainment to some, education to others and well I am sure Everyone gets something out of us talking about just about Anything and Everything.
    Love ya
    -SAL-E

    Reply

  • SAL-E says:

    May 19, 2008 at 12:56 am

    Ok somehow there is the word “not” jumped in between could and make……………….
    Science is so weird.
    Don’t even get me started on type O’s
    THIS IS WHY PROOF READING IS SO IMPORTANT.
    Once again Even I make mistakes…..
    Love ya -SAL-E

    Reply

  • Superboy says:

    May 19, 2008 at 4:02 am

    Don’t make me slap you all. Angels have wings, and I looked damn good in my angel costume last Halloween. Jealous? YES!

    Reply

  • defekto says:

    May 19, 2008 at 9:09 am

    I knew trash talking about angels would not go over well with everyone. And for the record I don’t get jealous over the possessions or personal attributes of other people…especially angels…they don’t even have a frickkin’ memory.

    Reply

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    • About The Author: defekto

    Defekto aka Jim Lucio grew up in California and has made the East Coast his home since 1993. As a party promoter, photographer and man-about-town, he has gained local celebrity status in Baltimore, MD, where he currently lives and works. He considers himself the world's preeminent Polaroid portrait photographer and he loves horror movies, boston terriers and drag queens.
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